i don't like "destroying" relationships. that's what's wrong.
instances:
1. a friend said he already paid, but haven't, for the cake for a birthday celebrant. i didn't want to put him on hot water so i tolerated him
2. a blockmate keeps on bragging about meeting some popular guy i used to go to high school with and it's absolutely a lie. but i just play along with her and listen. didn't want to offend her Dating Advice for Men-Attract QUALITY Women:: Would you please teach me some guidlines for talking understanding on how to become the best man I can be, but that air of knowledge can never escape. http://www.datingdynamics.com/blog/blogarchive/2007_12_01_seductiondd_archive.htmHOME | How to Raise an Assertive Child - Parenting Secrets with Dr. Michele :: You will have taught your child a critical skill that he will need to use in Do you have thoughts or questions on helping your child become more assertive? http://micheleborba.ivillage.com/parenting/archives/2008/1hil.html?dst=rss|iv_todayHOME |
3. a gal pal and i like the same guy. but we don't tell. i didn't want to admit so the guy would not dash off. we three are good friends. my gal pal makes her moves. sometimes i feel like i'm getting ostracized, or i'm ostracizing myself. i want to move as well, instead of just avoid them and let them. i really like the guy but i don't want to have a competition with another girl Controlling Verbal Aggression: How to Stop Verbal Aggression Once and :: You may need to teach him a permanent lesson, so that potential future victims Article Tags: How To Be Assertive, Controlling Verbal Aggression, Coping http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/controllinge-and-for-all-613358.htmlHOME | Top 3 Dating Myths | Dating Tips and Dating Advice by David Wygant:: If women have become assertive in their careers, why do they fear the same sense the reasons you may feel so much anxiety is that no one ever taught you how to http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/top-3-dating-myths/HOME |
deep inside, i know i'm assertive. but i just haven't got the guts to bring it out. please help me
In the situations you're talking about, the best method seems to be saying it without SAYING it. I'll give examples based on your instances.
Situation 1: say "Oh. That's funny, I've been keeping notes and I don't have that written down. But I guess if you don't have the money I'll just cover it for you." That way, there's a chance he'll actually pay (which he wouldn't if you confronted him) and it's hard to confront you about what you said. American Chronicle | Improving Productivity: How to Eliminate Workplace :: to teach me patience or give me a chance to practice my skills in assertive communication. You dont have to become the best of friends with that http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/26354HOME |
Situation 2: Say "Didn't he just get a new hairstyle?" She'll politely agree that he did. Then say, "Oh wait, I was thinking of someone else! I just saw him the other day and his hair is the same as ever." This shows her that you know she is lying and forces her to try to cover it up. She won't admit she lied, but she'll probably stop telling you stories about meeting him.
Situation 3: Simply pretend you haven't noticed a thing between your friend and the guy. Tell her you like him and ask if it's okay if you ask him out. If pretending not to notice isn't an option, ask if she's going to go out with him. If she says no, just tell her that you're thinking of asking him out and ask if that's okay. She'll most likely say yes out of politeness.
The trick is to use the same social rules that keep you from confronting others to keep them from confronting you. Once you get the hang of it, it's actually really easy.
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