My foster sister [is that the right term? my foster mothers biological daughter?] is twenty seven. She recently gave birth to a girl in May - but not before having three miscarriages in four years.
During that time, she would always say that the worst part about having a miscarriage (aside from losing the baby) was when she had to walk past the diapers to get a pad or tampon when she got her period the next month.
Now, she wants to petition the stores to stock the diapers and other baby products in a different aisle then the women's sanitary products. She feels that losing a child is extremely hard to handle on it's own, you don't need to walk by the woman with her new infant, or walk by the diapers or bottles and be remained of what you lost. She also says she feels guilty now that she has her baby, when she sees women in the aisle, especially the ones that hurry in and hurry out (not to say that those women have necessarily lost a child, but she immediately comes to that conclusion when she sees someone in the aisle).
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Thanks so much for your advice… it’s been two years and there are so many days I want just tell my husband, we can be friends, but lets go our separate ways
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I think she's making a good point, but she's not sure how to go about this, or if stores are going to change around an entire store based on one women's feelings.
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What thoughts do you have about this? Think it's a good/bad idea? Any suggestions of how she'd go about doing this?
Thank you!
The short answer is, she probably needs some grief counseling. Her reaction sounds like she was absolutely devastated. She may need help working it through. Changing the store around won't fix anything; she'll just find something else that triggers her grief. Sorry.
I would suggest that she might get over her losses sooner if she compels herself to walk past the diapers.
I'm not trying to be cruel. I am simply speaking from the experience of getting the collywobbles from seeing this and that; you will blunt your feelings eventually if you force yourself to normalize whatever it is that is upsetting you.
Besides, she has a baby now, right?
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I fervently hope she is more focused on the baby she has than the ones she lost.
If it were "me," I would write a letter to the store manager explaining her ordeal in "detail" and then at the bottom of the letter, cc: to the president of the company and send him/her a copy of the letter as well. If you do not receive a response in say 2 weeks, I would find out the name of the President of the Board and forward a copy of the letter to him/her. If that does not seem to help, I cannot think of any other person you could contact. Hope this helps.
I don't mean to belittle your sister's loss in any way, but a store just can't cater to each customer's mental state. They would be forever rearranging to suit the guy who's dog died, but still has to buy cat food, which is next to the dog food, etc. Perhaps some counseling would help her with the negative associations.
go for it... and um... think positive!
Sounds like a reasonable idea. Baby stuff should have it's own section apart from women's hygiene because I remember a few times I had to pick up supplies for my cousin's little one and it felt kind of weird with all the women hygiene products around. Not saying there is anything wrong with those products(just from a guy's perspective).. just felt weird.
But if she feels strongly about it she should start by writing to the corporate headquarters advocating the change.
That's just ridiculous. I run in and out all time, and that's not my reason. She should stop assuming everybody has the same reason. They aren't going to change around the whole store based on one person's demands.
Im sure it would be hard to lose a child like that but if she were to petition to remove everything from everyday life that reminded her of her heart ache she would have time for nothing else.
I've always seen this stuff in the "personal care" section, where it belongs. Its not just personal care, but intimate care. The baby aisle is somewhere completely different. Maybe the store is too small to change things around. Its a privately owned business, and how they choose to arrange their shelving is up to them. If she doesn't like it then she should shop elsewhere.
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