Not going to be as scandalous and you might hope, but I do need advice.
The backstory:
So, I recently went to an out of town wedding for my boyfriend's brother (let's call him randy). We stayed with the wife's brother (let's call him Phil) and his family (wife and two kids). We had the BEST time. Phil and my boyfriend and I hung out til super late in the mornings, laughing, joking around, drinking some beers.
So I thought Phil was a cool guy. His wife and I got along okay, but not as well and Phil and I. We stayed there from Thursday until Monday and spent basically every waking hour together as a group, with an exception being during car rides to and from events. With two car seats and 4 adults we had to use 2 differnt vehicles.
Well, the night of the wedding was great, we were all dressed to the nines and had a great time. This is where is gets interesting. Before we all went of the afterparty, I was walking up a flight of stairs, Phil was behind me. I felt him touch my legs. Not hot and heavy or anything but noticable. Like I would take a step and he would tap the back of the leg that was behind me. Okay so he had some champagne in him so I let it lie.
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Then, at the end of the night, I was sober so I was chosen as the designated driver. Phil's wife was also sober so she too was chosen to drive. Unfortunatey, I couldn't drive stick so I had to drive the sedan and pick up the kids from thier grandparents. Phil's wife drove home with my boyfriend, and Phil drove with me because I needed directions. After putting the kids in the car, Phil gave me a big hug and held my hand for a moment. I'm a hugger so no big deal.
Then on the drive back (40 mins or so) Phil started saying how he felt really connected to me and that it was taking everything he had not to act on it. I must admit, I had a bit of a crush on Phil and I was really flattered. He touched my hand gently and it progressed to hand holding, and talking, and he laid his head on my shoulder. It's weird, but those moments got me more aaroused than I have been in months - nd NOTHING happened except exactly that. When we got back he was still very huggy and affectionate, but privately when no one was looking. He had been drinking earlier, but did not seem drunk. in fact he seemed to be completely with it and sincere in his actions. I could feel at a couple moments him wanteing to kiss me and I wanted to too, I know its awful I know. But I didn't because of my boyfriend and his wife.
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And that was it. We went to bed at the end of night and went our separate ways.
Now I'm back home and it has been a week. I cannot get him out of my head, and I feel like a fool. I'm in a wonderful relationship with a man I care deeply about, and he is 2000 miles away married with children. But I CANNOT get him out of my head. Even when I'm intimate with my boyfriend i picture him.
But he's acting like I don't exist. On facebook. myspace, whatever he chats and messages and comments on everyone's pages except mine. I'll send him a little message like "Just wanted to say thanks again for your hospitality" or whatever and nothing. I feel like a fool.
I think he's probably realizing that I was just a moment in time mistake and he feels guilty hence why he's ignoring me. I get it - he's just not that into you. Do you agree?
So, now my question.(sorry for the book) How do I get him out of my head!? I'm so confused and embarrassed that I let myself become basically obsessed with this guy that has no interest or potential and that I put my relationship at risk. Any suggestions or advice?
He is realizing that his foolish thoughts would have ruined his life and he doesn;t communictae with you becasue you technically a single woman hench your not married and it is disrespectful for him to do this. As it is disrespectful to be communicating with a married man.
Find someone who interests you more. Your boyfriend isn't going to be happy if he ever finds out that you don't like him as much as you say you do...
And all married men should be a turn off to all single women.
way to long
I think you probably meant something to him also, whatever that may be, and now he's trying to forget about you also. Don't take him ignoring you as a way of saying he doesn't think of you because it's probably the exact opposite.
Now on to your question, I have no idea. I have a few faces I can't get out of my head too. But one thing that has helped me is to not go looking or expecting or wanting something from them. I use to go on my space and hope there was a message from him but now I hardly even go on there. I stopped wanting him so the face is slowly subsiding.
Hope this helps!
WAY TO LOONG
Get over it and move on.
Honestly it should be pretty easy to get him out of your head. All you have to do is believe that you're worth more and therefore should be treated better. Trust me you don't want someone who doesn't want you.
He was DRUNK be glad you dodged that bullet-
It's all in your pathetic head, not reality.
Realize that it is indeed all in your head. You are making up a whole "story" out of very little. It would not have been great at all if you went for it. Take another look at your boyfriend and realize what a great life you have together and fanasize about him, but make it reality since he is the one who CHOSE YOU. God Bless.
sorry this is too much reading.
hard one and such things happen. Getting him off your mind will take a while but you will get over it. Think of it this way - if he is such a great guy why would he pursue a relationship with you when he is married? He obviously has issues with commitment and is going through some sort of crises in his life. I would say that at the moment he does not know what he wants in life. Steer clear and be glad that you did.
I wish I could help you, but I am in a similar situation. I am working very hard to focus my attention to my fiance, but due to this other person, I don't have much attraction to my current relationship. My big problem is that I work with my "other person" everyday.
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