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 HOME   Should i even consider this guy a friend anymore?
Should i even consider this guy a friend anymore?
Published by: rose 2009-01-09

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    I have known my ex-wife for close to 10 years now, and her male best friend for the same amount of time. She has been best friends with him for 14 years. For as long as I knew her best friend, he was very friendly to me, granted we were two different personalities, but we got along very well. We both had immature tendencies and had similar tastes in music, as well as been his battle buddy in the National Guard for 6 years. About a couple months ago I was informed by my ex-wife that she was now dating her best friend. I emailed him that day to wish him and my ex-wife the best for the future, and I stressed in my email that I was serious in wishing them the best. Since that time, I have not heard back from him at all. Granted, on a couple of websites (including my MySpace page), I have him as a friend because I'm a "nice" person and usually give people the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I can't help but feel like a glutton for punishment because I have not heard anything back from him whenever I've left him a message on his personal web pages. Am I a stupid person to keep thinking that he's an actual friend still? Or should I just come to the realization that he was never my friend to begin with, and was pretending to be a friend to me until he had his chance to be with my ex-wife on a romantic basis? If I think of any more details (or based on answers I get), I will add details.
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  • If you are truly happy for them, you've said your piece, so be mature and move on. Why are you obsessing over a myspace comment or lack thereof for an answer? Why do you care? Because, seriously, listen carefully, you DO care. And this guy is HER best friend, and never yours. So he is under no obligation "to answer" to you.
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    I would suggest you see a professional therapist because it seems the impression I'm getting is you are like me, you take a while to truly let the news hit you and it comes out in little bursts and pieces until the realization fully hits you. SHE has moved on. Have you truly moved on?

    Don't look for anybody to vent your anger on, not your ex, or ex's best friend. Be happy for them as you say you are and move on.


  • Depends... If you really had considered him a really good friend, give him the benefit of the doubt. MANY times people will read a message, and forget about it/forget about replying to it until something reminds them of it.

    If he wasn't that great of a friend to begin with, then it should be pretty obvious.

    But, remember, this is your friend you've known for 10 years, battle buddy for 6, are you absolutely positively sure you'd want to risk that instead of just calling him and asking him about it?

    Just give that a thought =p


  • Don't get paranoid to think that he was just using you.

    He probably hasn't gotten back to you yet because, well some people receive like 100 emails a day, and seeing them all is simply impossible.

    You guys don't have to be best buds, so don't worry so much. There's a reason why she's your EX wife, because you both mutually agreed to the divorce, right? So move on in your life. Stressing in these things just gives you a restless mind and pimples.

    You must have other friends to just help you get your mind off of it, right? Then use them!





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